When some characters in Anglochat speak of "god", and the mercy he allegedly exerts on them, they usually do so out of fear that they have long embarked on a fast-track to hell. This is certainly the case with CarrCarter, who likes to brandish her "god" as the tool that supposedly nods to her misdeed and criminal activities and forgives all 'sins' for all times. She takes great encouragement from the Christian white-wash for future perpetrations, resting assured that "my god is good and forgiving".
The reality check comes as soon as she has to face a more earthly authority, namely a judge of the US justice system. Unlike brainwashed Christians, the rules in court are those of Crime & Punishment, Action & Consequences, Responsibility & Accountability. The enlightened part of the population knows that there is no god; he wouldn't allow children born with terminal disease or exposed to brutalising parents, slaves being held in America's south, murder and mayhem committed by thugs, Scots and southerners. God would have created Scots as worms in fruit, to be passed on by Eve to Adam in the Garden of Eden.
I would love to find words of consolation and hope for trash like CarrCarter, HeressChristie, Brandi620, etc... But the sense of fairness and for decency prevents me. Shove your god up your orifices, he only exists in your drug-altered imagination. Don't usurp a 'god' for your own agenda and to justify your crimes and blare out redemption that exists only in your fried brain.
Monday 30 November 2009
Sunday 29 November 2009
ANGLO SPLINTERS
It's a lazy and slow-on-news Sunday, time to reflect on the past week in Anglochat, which I thankfully did not have to endure live. The week was clearly under the impression of America's biggest holiday to observe for families. Not surprisingly, those who trumpet the loudest of their superior quality as chiefly brooding clucks of the homes have all assembled around the turkey and shared their kind spirit in: Anglochat!
For the occasion they dressed in their worst rags, didn't shower all week and sported disgustingly foul breath to indulge in what they can do best. Wishing death upon others, best in an excruciating way, in the name of the Lord, the self-righteous chavs heaped insults and threats on unsuspecting chatroom members. Despite their criminal past and numerous stays in jail, or facing justice soon, the more or less indigenous wenches in the US filed into the UK chatroom one by one to spout what they don't dare to croak in their own dilapidated homes. No matter that a Brandi620 committed what can be best described as culpable homicide, and lives in a place paid for by the proceeds from a hastily - but timely - obtained life insurance which she consumated after her offspring's pre-designed demise, she still feels privy to invoke karma when she expressed her delight over some other member's fight against cancer. If that ailing victim is under karma, what would unfortunate Robert's fate be in that context? Or in other words, what atrocity has Brandi620 committed to be hit by karma like that? Unless she sees the windfall proceeds from the death of a child as a blessing?
The most miserable character on that Thanksgiving evening though was CarrCarter, a deranged career criminal, in and out of jail, holding cells and drug rehab centres. Naturally also a self-described role model mother, proudly defending a record of what normal people would perceive as child abuse and neglect. Included in this week's Jerry Springer substitution are the known regulars among the moronic, yet vocal and condescending brood of outcast wenches such as KKendrinUK, AmandaDT, HeressChristie (usually the room's resident psychopath), Loveinamist31 and LadyDouglas.
On with the show of the insane. Even though anyone normal will find the contained banter outrageous, obscene and disturbing:
For the occasion they dressed in their worst rags, didn't shower all week and sported disgustingly foul breath to indulge in what they can do best. Wishing death upon others, best in an excruciating way, in the name of the Lord, the self-righteous chavs heaped insults and threats on unsuspecting chatroom members. Despite their criminal past and numerous stays in jail, or facing justice soon, the more or less indigenous wenches in the US filed into the UK chatroom one by one to spout what they don't dare to croak in their own dilapidated homes. No matter that a Brandi620 committed what can be best described as culpable homicide, and lives in a place paid for by the proceeds from a hastily - but timely - obtained life insurance which she consumated after her offspring's pre-designed demise, she still feels privy to invoke karma when she expressed her delight over some other member's fight against cancer. If that ailing victim is under karma, what would unfortunate Robert's fate be in that context? Or in other words, what atrocity has Brandi620 committed to be hit by karma like that? Unless she sees the windfall proceeds from the death of a child as a blessing?
The most miserable character on that Thanksgiving evening though was CarrCarter, a deranged career criminal, in and out of jail, holding cells and drug rehab centres. Naturally also a self-described role model mother, proudly defending a record of what normal people would perceive as child abuse and neglect. Included in this week's Jerry Springer substitution are the known regulars among the moronic, yet vocal and condescending brood of outcast wenches such as KKendrinUK, AmandaDT, HeressChristie (usually the room's resident psychopath), Loveinamist31 and LadyDouglas.
On with the show of the insane. Even though anyone normal will find the contained banter outrageous, obscene and disturbing:
Saturday 28 November 2009
We're still on the brink
In preparations for a brisk election campaign leading up to polling day in May 2010, the Conservative Party on several levels makes provisions to take over from Labour and to lead Britain through what promises to be World-War-like scenarios in the coming years. Let's forget for a moment the horrendous loss of life in the attacks on September 11 2001; the meltdown in financial markets of 2007/2008 inflicted damage 32 times that of 9-11. Governments and central banks - at a loss to understand what has hit them - swiftly poured $2.5 Trillion to stem the slide, borrowing from the next two generations who will rebel in their own ways in the next decades. The resentment against today's political caste will be similar to the shame that today's Germans feel about their Nazi forefathers.
The next crisis is already looming big for 2011 and 2012, and yet again the US will be the trigger, just as it was the case in 2007. In hindsight, looking at the budgeting and planning of governments in 2006, the outlines and projections for the global economy back then were grotesque and bizarrely ridiculous. The same will hold true in 2 to 3 years: we'll look back at 2009 wondering what these delusional experts and governments had in mind with their "business as usual, head in the sand" attitude, dragging economies into Armageddon and sending tens of millions out of work. Confidence and trust, commodities destroyed and annihilated by buffoons best represented by British Labourites already in 2007, will take much longer to restore than man's gift to short out bad memories.
The scope of the crisis looming from the US - a mirror image of the devastated state of finances here in Britain - is described in a paper I have written recently and presented to the Party's top brass on 18 November:
US on the brink:
Wave of Debt Payments Facing U.S.
Forebodes the Looming Implosion
While the sovereign debt of the United States has not reached yet the abysmal levels as in Britain , the outlook for the common years is catastrophic and bleak. The numbers within this article demonstrate the full scope of the road into financial ruin. And whilst a change of government in the UK in May or June 2010 will usher in years of belt-tightening and fiscal restraint to claw back from the mountain of debt accumulated under a Labour regime, no such cleansing of the old guard can be expected in the US: the Democrats will have to live with - and expand - the biggest and fastest increase of Federal debt of all times - assumed under a Republican White House!
The next crisis is already looming big for 2011 and 2012, and yet again the US will be the trigger, just as it was the case in 2007. In hindsight, looking at the budgeting and planning of governments in 2006, the outlines and projections for the global economy back then were grotesque and bizarrely ridiculous. The same will hold true in 2 to 3 years: we'll look back at 2009 wondering what these delusional experts and governments had in mind with their "business as usual, head in the sand" attitude, dragging economies into Armageddon and sending tens of millions out of work. Confidence and trust, commodities destroyed and annihilated by buffoons best represented by British Labourites already in 2007, will take much longer to restore than man's gift to short out bad memories.
The scope of the crisis looming from the US - a mirror image of the devastated state of finances here in Britain - is described in a paper I have written recently and presented to the Party's top brass on 18 November:
US on the brink:
Wave of Debt Payments Facing U.S.
Forebodes the Looming Implosion
While the sovereign debt of the United States has not reached yet the abysmal levels as in Britain , the outlook for the common years is catastrophic and bleak. The numbers within this article demonstrate the full scope of the road into financial ruin. And whilst a change of government in the UK in May or June 2010 will usher in years of belt-tightening and fiscal restraint to claw back from the mountain of debt accumulated under a Labour regime, no such cleansing of the old guard can be expected in the US: the Democrats will have to live with - and expand - the biggest and fastest increase of Federal debt of all times - assumed under a Republican White House!
Wednesday 25 November 2009
Thanksgiving
I plan to have a nice Thanksgiving weekend, starting with the turkey day itself with a concert honouring music from Broadway at the familiar venue - you guessed it - the Royal Albert Hall.Well aware that 'fans' from Anglochat shun places of culture like satan shuns holy water, I shall indulge in undiluted fun and enjoyment.
Friday is a Thanksgiving Dinner with the Chamber of Commerce, and I am off now for my essential dietary needs: sushi and sashimi.
X factored
The lying, deceiving and scheming buffoons in charge of Britain:
The May 2010 elections will end the slapstick act in Downing Street
The May 2010 elections will end the slapstick act in Downing Street
Tuesday 24 November 2009
Alabamarama
Season's Greetings from Alabama
Thousands of tourists from New England flock to Alabama this time of the year to observe the height of what is locally known as "Douchebag Time"
It has nothing to do with what we call the season of celebrations, be it Hanukah, Christmas or Thanksgiving and New Year's. No, the curious sight during the months of November to February - ending with the Muddy Bath day on a February Tuesday (the day before they worship on Rash Wednesday) - has more practical connotations rather than ceremonial ones.
Tens of thousands of local wenches like CarrCarter, SugapeeFannypie, Fook-a-LameDuck, dressed in pajamas and accompanied by their 10-15 offspring conceived by 10-14 fathers (relatives of various degrees), huddle at curb sides of thruways to be sprayed by the splash and gush from passing trucks and vans. Approaching vehicles are greeted by thunderous noise from the children beating on pots and pans, alerting the hags in a huddle to lean forward into the puddles and receive their showering.
For 9 months they had to wait to cleanse body and hair from the dust and grease accumulated over time. Except for brief and infrequent pilgrimages to the River (yes, the muddy muddy river Mississippi), these ditching heifers left the veneer of sweat, blood, tears, dust and bird droppings untouched to build a protective shield against chopper-sized insects. That's why Malaria is a rare occurrence in the region, with typhoid, bloody diarrhea and metastatic abscesses being the most widely spread diseases afflicting local residents. And just as the Armadillo-like skin begins to crack, nature in its mercy sends the torrents to the region.
Tour buses filled with smartly dresses New England travellers pass too slowly the anxious PJ-ed hags to create any kind of shower. The tourists eagerly press their faces and cameras against the windows to get a good look and photo of wenches who lift angrily their PJ tops to flash udders hanging down to their knees. State troopers, sympathetic to the wenches that they have shagged during previous traffic stops, routinely bang their nightsticks against the buses as a command to move on and let trucks pass through the puddles at full speed.
This report was compiled by correspondents from
our Houston and New Orleans bureaus
Thousands of tourists from New England flock to Alabama this time of the year to observe the height of what is locally known as "Douchebag Time"
It has nothing to do with what we call the season of celebrations, be it Hanukah, Christmas or Thanksgiving and New Year's. No, the curious sight during the months of November to February - ending with the Muddy Bath day on a February Tuesday (the day before they worship on Rash Wednesday) - has more practical connotations rather than ceremonial ones.
Tens of thousands of local wenches like CarrCarter, SugapeeFannypie, Fook-a-LameDuck, dressed in pajamas and accompanied by their 10-15 offspring conceived by 10-14 fathers (relatives of various degrees), huddle at curb sides of thruways to be sprayed by the splash and gush from passing trucks and vans. Approaching vehicles are greeted by thunderous noise from the children beating on pots and pans, alerting the hags in a huddle to lean forward into the puddles and receive their showering.
Nine months of crusty build-up makes CarrCarter look quite cuddly
For some the quest for cleansing comes at a price: LameDucks last weekend
Eating their own, nothing goes to waste: LameDucks' last hooray at CarrCarter's
This report was compiled by correspondents from
our Houston and New Orleans bureaus
ANGLO SPLINTERS
Anglochat confession booth:
The troof, and nothing but the troof!
Oh yes, even in Anglochat there are the few who come forward to defend the truth. (I apologise to our readers who are not on AOL, this is one to skip for you.)
One such truth seeking member is an individual with the screen name Kevinbernhard. Even at the price of his own unravelling and exposure to unflattering self-flagellation - just to be exposed and labelled as a paedophile - he goes to great lengths and threats to demand from his peers to be viewed as just that: a criminal of the worst kind. No other member in Anglochat has to date been so forthright in the quest to be seen for what he is.
For that, we have entered him in the competition to become Man of the Year, to be announced together with the Woman of the Year award in this publication on December 18.
Here is an excerpt of Kevinbernhard's coming out on 23 November (the poor English has been left unretouched for reasons of authenticity; he also proved to be somewhat knowledgeable with numbers, to a limited extent):
Kevinbernhard: "[deleted name] call me a paedophile again i dare you"
Kevinbernhard: "we allready proved [deleted] is a coward and a lier now its your turn"
Kevinbernhard: "count of 5 to answer me [deleted] or you prove yourself to be a lier and a coward as well as [deleted] did"
Kevinbernhard: 1
Kevinbernhard: 2
Kevinbernhard: 3
Kevinbernhard: 4
[deleted]: "haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, can you add one more, I dare you?"
Kevinbernhard: 5
Kevinbernhard: "proven"
SUMMARY:
Unless you call Kevinbernhard a paedophile you are a "lier" (meaning liar, probably). Well then, we don't want to be seen as liars, layers or liers, eh?
The troof, and nothing but the troof!
Oh yes, even in Anglochat there are the few who come forward to defend the truth. (I apologise to our readers who are not on AOL, this is one to skip for you.)
One such truth seeking member is an individual with the screen name Kevinbernhard. Even at the price of his own unravelling and exposure to unflattering self-flagellation - just to be exposed and labelled as a paedophile - he goes to great lengths and threats to demand from his peers to be viewed as just that: a criminal of the worst kind. No other member in Anglochat has to date been so forthright in the quest to be seen for what he is.
For that, we have entered him in the competition to become Man of the Year, to be announced together with the Woman of the Year award in this publication on December 18.
Here is an excerpt of Kevinbernhard's coming out on 23 November (the poor English has been left unretouched for reasons of authenticity; he also proved to be somewhat knowledgeable with numbers, to a limited extent):
Kevinbernhard: "[deleted name] call me a paedophile again i dare you"
Kevinbernhard: "we allready proved [deleted] is a coward and a lier now its your turn"
Kevinbernhard: "count of 5 to answer me [deleted] or you prove yourself to be a lier and a coward as well as [deleted] did"
Kevinbernhard: 1
Kevinbernhard: 2
Kevinbernhard: 3
Kevinbernhard: 4
[deleted]: "haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, can you add one more, I dare you?"
Kevinbernhard: 5
Kevinbernhard: "proven"
SUMMARY:
Unless you call Kevinbernhard a paedophile you are a "lier" (meaning liar, probably). Well then, we don't want to be seen as liars, layers or liers, eh?
Sunday 22 November 2009
All aboard!
New staff member at the CE Journal
as magazine goes global
Internationally acclaimed newswoman Jules T has joined the Chateau EURO Blogsite (CEB) in what is being described as a major media coup for the media outlet.
With many years of deep probing into the cavities of humanity's worst, and many successful operations ranging from ripping out prostates (e.g. of a tranny LameDucks) to lobotomies (CarrCarter, loveinamist31, KKKlux), the credentials of Jules couldn't be more exquisite. Jules will be senior editor responsible for coverage and cleansing of Anglochat and pest control at that location. Her many years of dealing with dirty laundry from scummies and chavs made her an outstanding candidate to assume the new position, granting her free reign on editing and content of her analysis, no matter how high up the rectal excursions will take her to get to the bottom of the truth.
The final test before obtaining her service was when she scrutinised, savaged, and dismantled into eight parts, and marinated, the tranny LameDucks - in full view of a stunned audience - by explaining to an amused readership why LameDucks is a tranny:
Jules UK 03: HE LIKES REACHING 'ROUND THE FRONT AND THINKING IT'S GONE RIGHT THROUGH
Anglochat burst into a roar after that pointed observation, which found widespread approval among the people witnessing the demolition of a freak.
Jules also introduced new labels for some of the notoriously imbecile chatroom members, attaching "Chlamydia" and "Thrush" on the back of crystalmeth HeressChristie and CarrCarter. The applause that followed was thundering and registered as a 4.4 tremor in the UK.
We welcome the new staff member and wish her many years within our publishing company.
as magazine goes global
Internationally acclaimed newswoman Jules T has joined the Chateau EURO Blogsite (CEB) in what is being described as a major media coup for the media outlet.
With many years of deep probing into the cavities of humanity's worst, and many successful operations ranging from ripping out prostates (e.g. of a tranny LameDucks) to lobotomies (CarrCarter, loveinamist31, KKKlux), the credentials of Jules couldn't be more exquisite. Jules will be senior editor responsible for coverage and cleansing of Anglochat and pest control at that location. Her many years of dealing with dirty laundry from scummies and chavs made her an outstanding candidate to assume the new position, granting her free reign on editing and content of her analysis, no matter how high up the rectal excursions will take her to get to the bottom of the truth.
The final test before obtaining her service was when she scrutinised, savaged, and dismantled into eight parts, and marinated, the tranny LameDucks - in full view of a stunned audience - by explaining to an amused readership why LameDucks is a tranny:
Jules UK 03: HE LIKES REACHING 'ROUND THE FRONT AND THINKING IT'S GONE RIGHT THROUGH
Anglochat burst into a roar after that pointed observation, which found widespread approval among the people witnessing the demolition of a freak.
Jules also introduced new labels for some of the notoriously imbecile chatroom members, attaching "Chlamydia" and "Thrush" on the back of crystalmeth HeressChristie and CarrCarter. The applause that followed was thundering and registered as a 4.4 tremor in the UK.
We welcome the new staff member and wish her many years within our publishing company.
Friday 20 November 2009
Tonight
I can be seen and cheered on this evening at this London establishment:
Polynesian folklore, drinks (My Mai Tai!) and fantastic food
http://www.tradervicslondon.com/bar.php
Counting up & down
Anglochat's NoCash & Carry (AOL name CarrCarter) has been charged (and usually convicted) of various crimes in the past: car theft, drugs, dealing with controlled substances, providing drugs and/or alcohol to minors, child neglect, endangerment of a dependant, public lewd behavior, resisting arrest, assault, aggravated assault, shoplifting, fraud, loitering, cheque-hiking, passing bad cheques and a multitude of traffic violations. Some of these charges, predictably, also apply to screen names Kpiper78, lister69 and HeressChristie. Consequently, with a life as a career criminal, CarrCarter is barred from entry in the UK and subject to deporation in case she tries to slip into our country.
Appropriately we want to introduce a count-down (and count-up) to monitor the illustrious life of cash-less Carrie:
Appropriately we want to introduce a count-down (and count-up) to monitor the illustrious life of cash-less Carrie:
- 37d - 10h - 17m until start of latest prison sentence
- 38d - 11h - 33m until next drug overdose
- 5,480 days since last time of being a decent mother
Hand of God Smacks Ireland
France capitalises on the Luck of the Irish
Brilliant Wide Receiver Thierry Henry catches the ball before it could leave the lawn and kicked it to William Gallas in the centre who managed to get the ball into the Irish end zone to tie the game, win on aggregate and advance to the World Cup in South Africa.
The fantastic play under American Football rules caused consternation in Ireland, but let's be honest: France are a far more valuable team for international soccer than the rebellious unknowns from that small island to the west. There is nothing that the Irish side could contribute to the World Cup nor the game of soccer.
American viewers are amused over the fact that blatantly wrong calls by referees are iron-cast and not subject to review if one team challenges the call. Something that has been deeply enshrined in US Football - NFL and College football alike - for 20 years.
Despite war dances by the Irish gnomes,
chaperons and ginger dwarfs, FIFA today
dismissed the effort to obtain a replay of
Wednesday's match and basically told the
Irish government "to get lost ".
Brilliant Wide Receiver Thierry Henry catches the ball before it could leave the lawn and kicked it to William Gallas in the centre who managed to get the ball into the Irish end zone to tie the game, win on aggregate and advance to the World Cup in South Africa.The fantastic play under American Football rules caused consternation in Ireland, but let's be honest: France are a far more valuable team for international soccer than the rebellious unknowns from that small island to the west. There is nothing that the Irish side could contribute to the World Cup nor the game of soccer.
American viewers are amused over the fact that blatantly wrong calls by referees are iron-cast and not subject to review if one team challenges the call. Something that has been deeply enshrined in US Football - NFL and College football alike - for 20 years.
chaperons and ginger dwarfs, FIFA today
dismissed the effort to obtain a replay of
Wednesday's match and basically told the
Irish government "to get lost ".
Thursday 19 November 2009
Where the grass is greener...
Newcastle 'greenest' British city
Newcastle was praised for emerging from its industrial past to go green and has been named as Britain's greenest city in a think tank's annual study.
Forum for the Future looked at the sustainability of the 20 biggest cities, measuring factors such as air quality, wildlife and quality of life. Newcastle, which beat 2008 winner Bristol into second, performed well "on many measures of sustainability".
Brighton and Hove came third, with Leicester fourth and London fifth. Of cities in Scotland only Edinburgh made it into the Top-50. The study measured 13 indicators of environmental performance, quality of life and how well prepared the cities are for the future. This involved looking at issues such as action on climate change and the vibrancy of the local economy.
Newcastle topped the environmental rankings, which included measures on air quality, wildlife and residents' "ecological footprint" - the amount of land it takes to provide them with food, transport, housing, goods and services. It also performed well in quality of life measures such as life expectancy and education, plus its planning for the future, to rise overall in the table from fourth last year and eighth place in 2007.
Peter Madden, chief executive of Forum for the Future, said: "Cities with an industrial heritage face genuine challenges, but Newcastle's success shows that it is possible to overcome the legacy of the past and perform well on many measures of sustainability.
Forum for the Future looked at the sustainability of the 20 biggest cities, measuring factors such as air quality, wildlife and quality of life. Newcastle, which beat 2008 winner Bristol into second, performed well "on many measures of sustainability".
Brighton and Hove came third, with Leicester fourth and London fifth. Of cities in Scotland only Edinburgh made it into the Top-50. The study measured 13 indicators of environmental performance, quality of life and how well prepared the cities are for the future. This involved looking at issues such as action on climate change and the vibrancy of the local economy.
Newcastle topped the environmental rankings, which included measures on air quality, wildlife and residents' "ecological footprint" - the amount of land it takes to provide them with food, transport, housing, goods and services. It also performed well in quality of life measures such as life expectancy and education, plus its planning for the future, to rise overall in the table from fourth last year and eighth place in 2007.
Peter Madden, chief executive of Forum for the Future, said: "Cities with an industrial heritage face genuine challenges, but Newcastle's success shows that it is possible to overcome the legacy of the past and perform well on many measures of sustainability.
Monday 16 November 2009
Highlands' Lowlife
RAF pilot apprehends AOL predator
A RAF helicopter pilot was forced to ditch his chopper in heavy weather behind enemy lines, near the Scottish village of Coylumbridge while on route to an air force base near Dundee.
During the crash-landing in enemy territory, Officer Jim Barker received only minor injures but the helicopter was destroyed after it burst into flames. Attracted by the fire and smoke, a frightfully looking creature emerged from the moors around the crash site. The English officer felt so terrified that he drew his signal pistol and fired at the creature from close range, hitting the animal in the stomach.
Sinking to the floor, the hit creature emitted a horrible scream resembling that of a new born baby. Officer Barker couldn't immediately identify the piece of shite as human or beast, but noticed that it was hooded and dressed in a potato sack - the customary tribal dress code for Scottish males.
Barker approached the beastly local carefully, his pistol pointed at the hooded head. He ripped the hood from the Thing's head and was aghast over the deformities of this person. He put one foot on the pile of meat to affix him to the ground, while reaching into a pocket crudely stitched into the potato sack. Barker fetched a few print-outs of AOL logs, apparently a chatroom conversation [peppered with classy lines like: LameDucks: ladi wanna cam ? me mrs is out :-) ; who could resist such eloquent courting?]. Glancing through the lines the officer thought he apprehended a Martian, too out-of-space appeared the hi-lighted lines of a chatroom member named LameDucks.
Barker used his mobile to alert police who did not take long to fly in with several copters. A search for the missing RAF helicopter had already been mounted at that point.
Arriving police first kicked and beat the piece of meat to check for vital signs and bodily reactions to indicate that the thing on the ground is human indeed. Even though this thing only reacted with high-pitched shrieks and wincing, the unkept facial hair ascertained everyone that they had encountered a true Scot.
Police searched the pocket and retrieved a false ID with the name Kenneth Boynton, and an immediate investigation started. Computer checks revealed within minutes that the US Driving Licence was fake, and a person of that name arrested in a police sweep in North Lincolnshire earlier last week (we reported about that).
After a few good kicks into the groin, the male on the ground admitted to be known as LameDucks and RedDogXVI on AOL. Further checks revealed that this individual has been wanted for questioning in a case of grooming young girls for sexual encounters (he never succeeded) and for making death threats to female AOL members who rejected his advances. He had also registered with the NHS as a potential (duck) liver donor.
Police have announced that a press conference will be held in Dundee on Wednesday to provide further details in this spooky saga.
A RAF helicopter pilot was forced to ditch his chopper in heavy weather behind enemy lines, near the Scottish village of Coylumbridge while on route to an air force base near Dundee.
During the crash-landing in enemy territory, Officer Jim Barker received only minor injures but the helicopter was destroyed after it burst into flames. Attracted by the fire and smoke, a frightfully looking creature emerged from the moors around the crash site. The English officer felt so terrified that he drew his signal pistol and fired at the creature from close range, hitting the animal in the stomach.
Sinking to the floor, the hit creature emitted a horrible scream resembling that of a new born baby. Officer Barker couldn't immediately identify the piece of shite as human or beast, but noticed that it was hooded and dressed in a potato sack - the customary tribal dress code for Scottish males.
Under 30-day quarantaine, LameDucks is being held at a windowless, undisclosed location
Barker approached the beastly local carefully, his pistol pointed at the hooded head. He ripped the hood from the Thing's head and was aghast over the deformities of this person. He put one foot on the pile of meat to affix him to the ground, while reaching into a pocket crudely stitched into the potato sack. Barker fetched a few print-outs of AOL logs, apparently a chatroom conversation [peppered with classy lines like: LameDucks: ladi wanna cam ? me mrs is out :-) ; who could resist such eloquent courting?]. Glancing through the lines the officer thought he apprehended a Martian, too out-of-space appeared the hi-lighted lines of a chatroom member named LameDucks.
Barker used his mobile to alert police who did not take long to fly in with several copters. A search for the missing RAF helicopter had already been mounted at that point.
Arriving police first kicked and beat the piece of meat to check for vital signs and bodily reactions to indicate that the thing on the ground is human indeed. Even though this thing only reacted with high-pitched shrieks and wincing, the unkept facial hair ascertained everyone that they had encountered a true Scot.
Police searched the pocket and retrieved a false ID with the name Kenneth Boynton, and an immediate investigation started. Computer checks revealed within minutes that the US Driving Licence was fake, and a person of that name arrested in a police sweep in North Lincolnshire earlier last week (we reported about that).
After a few good kicks into the groin, the male on the ground admitted to be known as LameDucks and RedDogXVI on AOL. Further checks revealed that this individual has been wanted for questioning in a case of grooming young girls for sexual encounters (he never succeeded) and for making death threats to female AOL members who rejected his advances. He had also registered with the NHS as a potential (duck) liver donor.
Shaved and fumigated, LameDucks was photographed by an embedded AFP reporter
Saturday 14 November 2009
Fireworks
As part of the annual Lord Mayor's Show a huge display of fireworks will take place early evening along River Thames. We'll be at a restaurant anchored near Blackfriar's Br from 5-8pm, watching, toasting and munching.
SA Anthem ridiculed - in France
French reggae singer disrespected
South African national anthem
The reggae singer The Springboks is accused of butchering the anthem yesterday, before the 20-13 Test match Rugby defeat to France, but said that he thought he had "sung beautifully". Ras Dumisani, sporting dreadlocks tucked into a huge red, green and white Rastafarian cap, was adamant that his performance - which made large parts of the Toulouse crowd burst into laughter - had been a good one.
The South African anthem was sung before France's stirring "Marseillaise" and the singer, backed by two drummers of his Afrikhaya Band, made a mess of the four-language homage to the Rainbow Nation.
South African national anthem
The reggae singer The Springboks is accused of butchering the anthem yesterday, before the 20-13 Test match Rugby defeat to France, but said that he thought he had "sung beautifully". Ras Dumisani, sporting dreadlocks tucked into a huge red, green and white Rastafarian cap, was adamant that his performance - which made large parts of the Toulouse crowd burst into laughter - had been a good one.
The South African anthem was sung before France's stirring "Marseillaise" and the singer, backed by two drummers of his Afrikhaya Band, made a mess of the four-language homage to the Rainbow Nation.
Publisher's Note
A note from upstairs, regarding e-mails to Chateau EURO:
In the past six days we have received a total of 22 e-mails from 18 different senders with the .ru domain.
Please note that this site rigorously discriminates against Russians and members of the former Soviet republics as well as Scots and Scotland. We do not consider these tribes as evolutionary at par with what we consider civilized.
Mail from the banned areas will not be opened or acknowledged, and immediately deleted. If you want to comment try to use the 'comment' feature at the bottom of a posting and do so anonymously. Comments from identified subjects of the discriminated tribal reservations are subject to ridicule or deletion, whatever promotes the spirit of this site best.
In the past six days we have received a total of 22 e-mails from 18 different senders with the .ru domain.
Please note that this site rigorously discriminates against Russians and members of the former Soviet republics as well as Scots and Scotland. We do not consider these tribes as evolutionary at par with what we consider civilized.
Mail from the banned areas will not be opened or acknowledged, and immediately deleted. If you want to comment try to use the 'comment' feature at the bottom of a posting and do so anonymously. Comments from identified subjects of the discriminated tribal reservations are subject to ridicule or deletion, whatever promotes the spirit of this site best.
Friday 13 November 2009
In Concert
All the classic Bond themes, for the right Bond buff
Music: GARBAGE - The World Is Not Enough
Deadly Beat of South Africa
Many blogsites cover news, culture and peoples (and official languages, all 16 of them) of South Africa. Those run by coloured people praise the post-Apartheid nation to the point of uncritical navel-gazing (e.g. SArocks, SouthAfrica.info), while some managed by white South Africans remain locked in the ugly racist and xenophobic mode of yester-year (although the worst and deadliest xenophobia today is by the hands of black ANC hoodlums, and directed against immigrants from countries even worse off than us).
When this website reports of South Africa and how it rocks it is a fact-based account of events and incidents that shape the country today; for good and bad.
A few weeks ago the president of the country appointed a new police chief, who - like the president himself - has had his frequent brushes with the law. The crook has now been given the presidential permission to introduce a "shoot-to-kill" order for police, with astounding results.
Since the new executive order was given on 1st of October, police shot dead 48 people. Among them were pregnant women, unsuspecting motorists and now even a 3-year old boy who picked up a metal pipe which the firing copper identified as a mortal threat.
Reassurance from a thug: National Police Commissioner Cele
Last Sunday a call to a police station near Johannesburg of a "burglary in progress" alerted 10 cops to a nearby warehouse. A few minutes later the police action was over and seven burglars dead in the dust.
19,000 murders have been committed in 2008 in South Africa, and tourists and visitors and fans of sports events have not been spared. Next year's Football World Cup, staged in several crime hot spots in the country, will undoubtedly see a number of foreigners murdered. That prospect has forced several participating nations to provide their respective players with bullet-proof outfits and to impose a virtual curfew off the lawn.
"In the course of any duty the innocent will be victimised," Mbalula told reporters in Parliament. "In this particular situation where you are caught in combat with criminals, innocent people are going to die not deliberately, but in the exchange of fire. They are going to be caught on the wrong side, not deliberately, but unavoidably. Yes. Shoot the bastards. Hard-nut to crack, incorrigible criminals."
I wonder what would happen in Britain if Home Secretary Alan Johnson would announce similar directives in the House of Commons...
Evil EU
Reason #27 why the European Union is evil and Britain should leave the bloc: the EU prohibits member states to impose the death penalty.
The case of John McFarlane, sentenced today to 20 years in prison for murdering and raping a young mother in her home, in front of her 3 children, is a classic example why Britain should have never abandoned capital punishment.
The case of John McFarlane, sentenced today to 20 years in prison for murdering and raping a young mother in her home, in front of her 3 children, is a classic example why Britain should have never abandoned capital punishment.
Thursday 12 November 2009
The Raid of sCUNThorpe
Alerted by frantic 999 calls (911 emergency in the US) from neighbours, and by urgent contacts from the FBI field office in Minneapolis (MN) to Yorkshire police, authorities swooped in on a residence in the desolate outskirts of Scunthorpe last week. A long row of emergency vehicles was seen crawling up Somerby Rd at slow speed, spearheaded by a rusty 2-door clunker, with sputtering and misfiring engine, just as the column finally came to a halt at a house with neo-nazi graffiti and burning crosses littering the front lawn.
From the first car emerged a small man in a greasy trench coat who immediately started to give directions to firemen, police, Search & Rescue as well as Social and Child Protection personnel. Other senior law enforcement officers arrived and it quickly became clear that a huge international task force had assembled to deal with a major calamity in Keadby Village (North Lincolnshire).
Top crime fighters from several countries have converged at what is about to turn out to be a major crime scene. From New York, a bald detective named Hijack, with a candy lollipop in the right side of his mouth, assumed the command with a thundering voice to his deputy: "Secure the area, Stavros, this is a big one!"
The small man in the drenched coat, cigar stub in the corner of his mouth and eggshells, that he had just lifted from a coat pocket, in one hand, scratched his oily hair in a gesture of befuddled perplexity, wondering aloud, "Should have boiled this egg first.... Sergeant?" Turns out the diminutive man was Det Hohumbo from the LAPD. No sergeant to be seen in Scunthorpe this evening, for sure, and the embarrassed top cop wiped his hand along a shirt that was starched from similar previous mishaps.
Also present was a stocky, middle-aged man, slick black hair and thin mustache, dressed in a 1930's style suit. A tall gentleman at his side tried to introduce him to Detective Hijack, who in turn quipped, "What's that frog doin' here, there ain't no French connection here?!" Just as Mr Hastings was about to faint, the Private Detective Hercules Puree [pronounced poirot] angrily shot back, "I am Belgian, you Yankee Ignoramus!" No, the investigation did not get off to a good start.
Four coppers ran up towards the dwelling and right through the main door made of thin sheet metal, dozens of other officers and the super sleuths in tow. Except for the weak glimmer of a candle in the distance the inside of the shack was in darkness and the emergency crews needed a moment to adapt to the dark. Monsieur Puree suddenly felt something hugging his legs and when he reached down his hands felt the heads of two boys. When he felt something crawling up his hands he yelled out to his friend, "Hastings! Take these creatures away from me, they have lice!"
Other cops brought in spotlights and only now did the full scope of destitute become obvious:
The two small windows were draped by Confederate flags, and the walls full of KKK insignia. On the floor, dressed as a Ku Klux Klan grand wizard, heavy built KuKluxKendra, who operates under the AOL synonym "KKendrinUK." Next to her, covered in a white sheet with an emblem "White Pride", her cohabitant VinniePoo, also an active member on AOL as "vinnieplant." They both were initially unresponsive to questions from police, and medical staff quickly established that both suffered from monoxide poisoning and extremely high levels of blood alcohol.
In Vinnie's palm the detectives found a mobile phone that displayed a text message, "Help me! Help me outta here!" A quick check revealed that the message was sent to a respected citizen in Minnesota, and it was that individual who raised the alarm with authorities.
KuKluxKendra held a card for emergency top-ups of a gas meter in her hand. When 6 emergency staff lifted her on a gurney they discovered the meter under her, apparently ripped out of its socket. Inquiries with power supplier N-power confirmed that the dwelling had been cut off from supplies for non-payment for the past nine days. The card in the felled heavy-weight was worthless and had deep tooth marks in it.
The general image of utter decay and devastation was beyond anyone's comprehension. LAPD detective Hohumbo likened it with the inside of his coat pocket but was quickly corrected by his NY colleague Hijack who mumbled, "Ain't that sweet, all this 'White Pride' and white supremacist banter on the walls and yet it looks like Harlem in the Sixties."
With a thundering, long fart that raised the Ku Klux Klan fatigue off KuKluxKendra, one of the two adults regained consciousness. She stammered, "the pollacks, the pollacks ..." more wasn't intelligible. But police suspected for some time already that the couple provided hide-outs for illegal Eastern Europeans, extorting exorbitant rents for dismal lodging from the foreigners.
After a thorough search of the cellars as well as the attic, twenty-eight undocumented aliens were discovered and provided with First Aid and driven off to alternate accommodations. At that point the DCI Tennison arrested the dwelling's owners.
As KuKluxKendra was led out in handcuffs, Det Hohumbo turned towards her and said, "Oh, one more thing, ma'am... you see... my wife's birthday is coming up, and I never know what to get her... so this year she told me that a tent would be a nice gift, so we can go fishing and camping..." KukluxKendra, visibly annoyed and seething, snapped back at him, "So? What has that to do with me?!" To which Det Hohumbo replied, "no need to get nasty, ma'am. I was just wondering about... about your knickers, they seem to be the perfect size... how much were they?"
FACT FILE: Keadby Village
5.2 square miles in size, Kidby has 377 inhabitants [2007], making the clan living at the raided dwelling 1.1% of the outlet's total population. It is situated along a canal leading to the river Trent, and just 2 miles west of Scunthorpe. The village is prone to annual flooding which helps to keep the location somewhat tidy. In bad years of droughts, however, typical diseases associated with poor sanitation and hygiene break out.
The average income per household in Keadby is £7,448 per year, far below the North East average of £14,956 [2006].
There are two pubs on the canal side - The Barge Inn and The Auld South Yorkshire. There is also a chip shop, a working men's club, a small Post Office and a local shop.
Part 2: Not all 'Pollacks' came from Poland; read about who came to dinner at the raided home. [15 November 2009]
From the first car emerged a small man in a greasy trench coat who immediately started to give directions to firemen, police, Search & Rescue as well as Social and Child Protection personnel. Other senior law enforcement officers arrived and it quickly became clear that a huge international task force had assembled to deal with a major calamity in Keadby Village (North Lincolnshire).
Top crime fighters from several countries have converged at what is about to turn out to be a major crime scene. From New York, a bald detective named Hijack, with a candy lollipop in the right side of his mouth, assumed the command with a thundering voice to his deputy: "Secure the area, Stavros, this is a big one!"
The small man in the drenched coat, cigar stub in the corner of his mouth and eggshells, that he had just lifted from a coat pocket, in one hand, scratched his oily hair in a gesture of befuddled perplexity, wondering aloud, "Should have boiled this egg first.... Sergeant?" Turns out the diminutive man was Det Hohumbo from the LAPD. No sergeant to be seen in Scunthorpe this evening, for sure, and the embarrassed top cop wiped his hand along a shirt that was starched from similar previous mishaps.
Also present was a stocky, middle-aged man, slick black hair and thin mustache, dressed in a 1930's style suit. A tall gentleman at his side tried to introduce him to Detective Hijack, who in turn quipped, "What's that frog doin' here, there ain't no French connection here?!" Just as Mr Hastings was about to faint, the Private Detective Hercules Puree [pronounced poirot] angrily shot back, "I am Belgian, you Yankee Ignoramus!" No, the investigation did not get off to a good start.
Four coppers ran up towards the dwelling and right through the main door made of thin sheet metal, dozens of other officers and the super sleuths in tow. Except for the weak glimmer of a candle in the distance the inside of the shack was in darkness and the emergency crews needed a moment to adapt to the dark. Monsieur Puree suddenly felt something hugging his legs and when he reached down his hands felt the heads of two boys. When he felt something crawling up his hands he yelled out to his friend, "Hastings! Take these creatures away from me, they have lice!"
Other cops brought in spotlights and only now did the full scope of destitute become obvious:
Forensic investigators took pictures of the kitchen before collecting evidence
The two small windows were draped by Confederate flags, and the walls full of KKK insignia. On the floor, dressed as a Ku Klux Klan grand wizard, heavy built KuKluxKendra, who operates under the AOL synonym "KKendrinUK." Next to her, covered in a white sheet with an emblem "White Pride", her cohabitant VinniePoo, also an active member on AOL as "vinnieplant." They both were initially unresponsive to questions from police, and medical staff quickly established that both suffered from monoxide poisoning and extremely high levels of blood alcohol.
In Vinnie's palm the detectives found a mobile phone that displayed a text message, "Help me! Help me outta here!" A quick check revealed that the message was sent to a respected citizen in Minnesota, and it was that individual who raised the alarm with authorities.
No wall between toilet and kitchen; inside the stove were remnants of food prepared in 2004
KuKluxKendra held a card for emergency top-ups of a gas meter in her hand. When 6 emergency staff lifted her on a gurney they discovered the meter under her, apparently ripped out of its socket. Inquiries with power supplier N-power confirmed that the dwelling had been cut off from supplies for non-payment for the past nine days. The card in the felled heavy-weight was worthless and had deep tooth marks in it.
KuKluxKendra and VinniePlant as seen in their Facebook profile
The general image of utter decay and devastation was beyond anyone's comprehension. LAPD detective Hohumbo likened it with the inside of his coat pocket but was quickly corrected by his NY colleague Hijack who mumbled, "Ain't that sweet, all this 'White Pride' and white supremacist banter on the walls and yet it looks like Harlem in the Sixties."
White Supremacist Living: along the canals of Keadby Village
With a thundering, long fart that raised the Ku Klux Klan fatigue off KuKluxKendra, one of the two adults regained consciousness. She stammered, "the pollacks, the pollacks ..." more wasn't intelligible. But police suspected for some time already that the couple provided hide-outs for illegal Eastern Europeans, extorting exorbitant rents for dismal lodging from the foreigners.
Unidentified person among the 28 illegals at the raided home;
police said he used false ID and could be wanted AOL biker Kpiper78 from Illinois
After a thorough search of the cellars as well as the attic, twenty-eight undocumented aliens were discovered and provided with First Aid and driven off to alternate accommodations. At that point the DCI Tennison arrested the dwelling's owners.
As KuKluxKendra was led out in handcuffs, Det Hohumbo turned towards her and said, "Oh, one more thing, ma'am... you see... my wife's birthday is coming up, and I never know what to get her... so this year she told me that a tent would be a nice gift, so we can go fishing and camping..." KukluxKendra, visibly annoyed and seething, snapped back at him, "So? What has that to do with me?!" To which Det Hohumbo replied, "no need to get nasty, ma'am. I was just wondering about... about your knickers, they seem to be the perfect size... how much were they?"
FACT FILE: Keadby Village
5.2 square miles in size, Kidby has 377 inhabitants [2007], making the clan living at the raided dwelling 1.1% of the outlet's total population. It is situated along a canal leading to the river Trent, and just 2 miles west of Scunthorpe. The village is prone to annual flooding which helps to keep the location somewhat tidy. In bad years of droughts, however, typical diseases associated with poor sanitation and hygiene break out.
The average income per household in Keadby is £7,448 per year, far below the North East average of £14,956 [2006].
There are two pubs on the canal side - The Barge Inn and The Auld South Yorkshire. There is also a chip shop, a working men's club, a small Post Office and a local shop.
Part 2: Not all 'Pollacks' came from Poland; read about who came to dinner at the raided home. [15 November 2009]
Wednesday 11 November 2009
No contest
Anglochat's very own 620 has entered a contest in 1961 that led her to short-lived spousal commitments, matching her persistent lapses of memory. As she failed to recognise people that she had only picked up the night before, and after a successful string of suspicious inheritances she reeked, a close friend (and former husband) came up with the novel idea to sign up bird's nest for this Florida contest.
In 2002 the toothless silver haired succeeded and conquered current Italian stallion for hubby #30:
Music: CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL - I Heard It Through the Graveyard
Tuesday 10 November 2009
Brown-Out /2
Amazing. After listening and seeing the griefing mother, who received a surprise telephone call from the prime minister on Sunday, I have one good piece of advice for Mrs Janes: Shut the fuck up, already!
When she received the call she quickly pushed the tape recorder (for which she should be put on trial) and recorded the whole conversation. After that she had the presence of mind to pick the newspaper most hostile to Gordon Brown (The Sun, which should also be prosecuted) and to hand over the tape.
Griefing mothers are usually irrational and in a most unflattering state of temporary insanity. She should have remained obscure and hidden. Her interview today on SKY made her look like a vengeful, hateful and spitefully hissing cobra. This is the first instance in 12 years that I show sympathy for Gordon Brown. Her son - if given the chance - would be ashamed of his mother today.
When she received the call she quickly pushed the tape recorder (for which she should be put on trial) and recorded the whole conversation. After that she had the presence of mind to pick the newspaper most hostile to Gordon Brown (The Sun, which should also be prosecuted) and to hand over the tape.
Griefing mothers are usually irrational and in a most unflattering state of temporary insanity. She should have remained obscure and hidden. Her interview today on SKY made her look like a vengeful, hateful and spitefully hissing cobra. This is the first instance in 12 years that I show sympathy for Gordon Brown. Her son - if given the chance - would be ashamed of his mother today.
Monday 9 November 2009
Anglochat Zit-uation Room
From the desk of: Editor-in-chief, London
When this blog started coverage of sin-cidents within the realms of Anglochat in 2007 we had no idea just how popular the features would become and how sorely we’d be missed when we interrupted the reporting. Numerous attempts have been made to imitate us, yet we remain the single most authoritative media outlet people turn to for hard hitting, fact-based coverage. We are committed to you, the reader, for probing reports, cutting through the thicket of innuendo and hearsay, and exposing the rumours, gossip and half-truths to get to the bottom of documented sin-cidents - occurences that defy common law, decency and morality.
The valued reader can look forward to a major BREAKING NEWS story which we will publish on Thursday, November 12, at 8pm. It involves a drama that has unfolded in a small town in England’s northeast, with international ramifications and reverberating around the world, involving subversive individuals from both sides of the Atlantic. Because of the geographical dimensions in this case, several correspondents will contribute to this story from numerous locations across six time zones.
In the meantime, we ask for your patience and reassure you that we remain committed to all the News that's fit to print, and that we will strive to meet the highest standard of investigative journalism.
When this blog started coverage of sin-cidents within the realms of Anglochat in 2007 we had no idea just how popular the features would become and how sorely we’d be missed when we interrupted the reporting. Numerous attempts have been made to imitate us, yet we remain the single most authoritative media outlet people turn to for hard hitting, fact-based coverage. We are committed to you, the reader, for probing reports, cutting through the thicket of innuendo and hearsay, and exposing the rumours, gossip and half-truths to get to the bottom of documented sin-cidents - occurences that defy common law, decency and morality.
The valued reader can look forward to a major BREAKING NEWS story which we will publish on Thursday, November 12, at 8pm. It involves a drama that has unfolded in a small town in England’s northeast, with international ramifications and reverberating around the world, involving subversive individuals from both sides of the Atlantic. Because of the geographical dimensions in this case, several correspondents will contribute to this story from numerous locations across six time zones.
In the meantime, we ask for your patience and reassure you that we remain committed to all the News that's fit to print, and that we will strive to meet the highest standard of investigative journalism.
Brown-Out
The Scots are a dumb, diminutive and illiterate tribe on the fringes of Europe – we all know that. One of the chieftains of Scotland is Britain’s Prime Minister Gordon Brown, in his waning days of a troubled political career.
The depth of Scottish illiteracy is demonstrated in a hand-written letter from the challenged PM to the mother of a fallen soldier. The bereaved English mother had to endure this saga of premier deficiency:
He addressed the letter to a Mrs James, misspelling the name Janes. Mr Brown then made four(!) other spelling mistakes in the 7-line letter: greatst for greatest, condolencs for condolences, you instead of your, and colleagus for colleagues.
Music: MARIANNE FAITHFULL - Broken English Provided by: elgar.fm
The depth of Scottish illiteracy is demonstrated in a hand-written letter from the challenged PM to the mother of a fallen soldier. The bereaved English mother had to endure this saga of premier deficiency:
He addressed the letter to a Mrs James, misspelling the name Janes. Mr Brown then made four(!) other spelling mistakes in the 7-line letter: greatst for greatest, condolencs for condolences, you instead of your, and colleagus for colleagues.
Music: MARIANNE FAITHFULL - Broken English Provided by: elgar.fm
Saturday 7 November 2009
Haye on the floor
OK I really want David Haye to win, but my 50 quid are on the ugly and deformed russki (KO by Round 6). An exciting evening out with the troopers to watch the bout on big screen before heading for post-match drinks (wine and beer are banned, so ya know what's looming...)
UPDATE
So, Haye became new world champion in heavy-weight after a cleverly fought bout. We all cheered, and I had him ahead 116-112 on my scorecard, same as two of the three ring side judges. I lost the dough, and 100 mo', as Penn St were clearly outfoxed by Ohio St. To make the weekend a complete fiasco I lost another $250 with the 49ers on Sunday. But that is merely a dent in the year's running balance, and the Xmas trip is secured.
UPDATE
So, Haye became new world champion in heavy-weight after a cleverly fought bout. We all cheered, and I had him ahead 116-112 on my scorecard, same as two of the three ring side judges. I lost the dough, and 100 mo', as Penn St were clearly outfoxed by Ohio St. To make the weekend a complete fiasco I lost another $250 with the 49ers on Sunday. But that is merely a dent in the year's running balance, and the Xmas trip is secured.
Dim Sum at Ping Pong
Last night we feasted in one of my favourite London niches, the St Katharine Dock on Quayside, right behind the Thistles at Tower Bridge. Nestled in the Tower Bridge House is the superb Chinois Nouveu eatery Ping Pong where we got a room to ourselves; all 13 bankers from 5 foreign branches (3 South Africans, 2 Brits, one Americaine, 3 French, 3 Japanese and one Monegasse).
I persuaded my companions to venture into Ping Pong - the newish Dim Sum experience. It's really great there: unpretentious, not too expensive, friendly, trendy, young, healthy, international; and really buzzing with couples and groups.
We had drinks upstairs (they move you there while you wait for your table) - the Kumquat Mojitos are thoroughly recommendable and have become the mojito against which all others are measured. The Ratini cocktail was a little less enthusiastically received, although the American sharing our table seemed happy enough with her candy rats.
Then you have to go back downstairs to the tables to sober up – small squares for twos and threes down the quieter corridor and round tables for 8+ people to share in the main restaurant area. All seats are low stools although they are quite big.
Rather than a menu, you are given a little piece of paper and a pencil. Items are helpfully grouped into categories such as nibbles and soups, baked and steamed, fried, signature dishes, vegetables and side dishes etc. Each dish is priced around £3. We loved the "pick and mix" approach to choosing tasty little dishes - all of which come in three portions. Some of my companions were vegetarian and the choice was incredible. Even I loved the sweetcorn and coriander parcels, and the sticky rice in leaves is awesome. But I clearly focused on the prawn ones.
A healthy and tasty experience - and the flowering teas provided much amusement (although the fresh mint tea is the real clean palate taste phenomenon). Not the place to spend an entire evening, but in between drinks and dancing or for meeting up informally with a group of friends during the day or in the evening it is perfect! Which is exactly what we did, moving on to Trader Vic's before Big Ben struck midnight.
I persuaded my companions to venture into Ping Pong - the newish Dim Sum experience. It's really great there: unpretentious, not too expensive, friendly, trendy, young, healthy, international; and really buzzing with couples and groups.
We had drinks upstairs (they move you there while you wait for your table) - the Kumquat Mojitos are thoroughly recommendable and have become the mojito against which all others are measured. The Ratini cocktail was a little less enthusiastically received, although the American sharing our table seemed happy enough with her candy rats.
Then you have to go back downstairs to the tables to sober up – small squares for twos and threes down the quieter corridor and round tables for 8+ people to share in the main restaurant area. All seats are low stools although they are quite big.
Rather than a menu, you are given a little piece of paper and a pencil. Items are helpfully grouped into categories such as nibbles and soups, baked and steamed, fried, signature dishes, vegetables and side dishes etc. Each dish is priced around £3. We loved the "pick and mix" approach to choosing tasty little dishes - all of which come in three portions. Some of my companions were vegetarian and the choice was incredible. Even I loved the sweetcorn and coriander parcels, and the sticky rice in leaves is awesome. But I clearly focused on the prawn ones.
A healthy and tasty experience - and the flowering teas provided much amusement (although the fresh mint tea is the real clean palate taste phenomenon). Not the place to spend an entire evening, but in between drinks and dancing or for meeting up informally with a group of friends during the day or in the evening it is perfect! Which is exactly what we did, moving on to Trader Vic's before Big Ben struck midnight.
Swift Justice / I
New column: SWIFT JUSTICE
I decided to create this column to vent my outrage and frustration over court cases that could be dealt with much swifter than the mills of juresprudence in various countries - mainly the US and the UK - grind out. In my column I weigh the evidence, the gravity of the case, the circumstances of perpetrators and victims and how to best effectuate the law. In the end there will always be a verdict and a sentence. This Court never adjourns before a verdict has been reached. Arguments for possible appeals can be lodged under "comment to this."
I am encouraged to meter out swift justice by the conviction that I am smarter than 96.8% of jurors, wiser than 65% of judges, remote and emotionally detached from the cases, uninfluenced free of influence from the media and their effort to prejudge and pre-convict, and immune to government intervention. I am also much smarter and of better character than recent British prime ministers; case in point: Tony Blair. His legacy to create a fundamentally flawed and corrupted extradition treaty between the US and the UK is so infamous that the man is disqualified for far less important jobs than PM; the position as a figure-head president of the EU, for example.
So, without much further ado, let's have today's case.
Court is in session. All rise, the Rt Hon Judge Pilatus Euro presiding.
People versus
Gary McKinnon, 43
Mr McKinnon is accused of hacking US military computer networks at the height of security alerts following the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001 and causing substantial security breaches, damages and globe-spanning counter-measures. In a previous judgment I ordered Mr McKinnon to be extradited and he was handed over to US Marshals on the same day.
The accused has testified that he invaded the US military computers for the sole purpose of finding information on UFOs. The Court has been convinced that his claim is genuine, albeit irrational and delusional. His claims have been the reflection of a deranged mind and a generally infantile perception of the world around him. Based on these findings the court recognises the mitigating circumstances in this case, facts that will have to be reflected in the sentencing phase of the case.
Mr McKinnon's legal representatives also presented credible evidence that the accused suffers from symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome. Hearing medical experts in the course of the trial revealed medium effects on Mr McKinnon's grasp of reality and facts. During his spells of 'tunnel vision' he was unable to distinguish between right and wrong, and his mission to find satisfying clues on his obsession with Unidentified Flying Objects took precedent over any natural barrier one feels before breaking the law. Mr McKinnon was not able to recognise that he was breaking the law.
On the other hand, the evidence from military sources - both in the UK and the US - have shown compelling evidence of severe violations of security. The Court is not to judge whether such breaches could have been forestalled by more sophisticated breakers in the system. During the time of the intrusions by Mr McKinnon, in the aftermath of the sophisticated and organised atrocities committed at three different sites on US soil, the US military in particular had been put on a war footing. The exploitation of this grave situation by Mr McKinnon weighs heavily against the defendant.
The Court has not heard any accusation that Mr McKinnon acted on behalf of a third party, nor has he been linked to any terrorist network or foreign intelligence apparatus. The Court is satisfied by his defence team's assertions that the accused acted on his own and for his own pleasure. He did not seek any other reward from his criminal acts, be it materially or idealistically, than to satisfy his search for evidence of the existence and presence of UFOs in what he considered his own world. The US Government declined to show proof to the contrary and earlier allegations that Mr McKinnon had acted on behalf, and with the cooperation, of obscure networks to invade US Government installations and computer systems have not been repeated in court.
Ignorance of the law does not absolve one from guilt. That was the key to this case.
Consequently, this Court finds the defendant Gary McKinnon,
G U I L T Y
as charged.
The Court sentences Mr Mc Kinnon to 32 months in a medium security Federal penitentiary and to a fine of $450,000. Mr McKinnon is eligible for parole after 18 months of incarceration.
SUMMARY
Once found guilty, the Court's discretion in the duration of the incarceration has been for a prison term of up to 60 years in a maximum security penitentiary. From the onset of this trial it was clear that the Court would remain far below this limit.
The evidence presented has clearly shown Mr McKinnon's culpability and responsibility of what has been viewed as one of the worst ever security breaches in US military history. This severity of the case made incarceration inevitable and ruled out the possibility of passing a minimum sentence of 1 year in jail. Yet, the court recognised the circumstances and health issues of the defendant and has tried to implement a fair sentence.
This Court wishes to rebuke the British Government's efforts to undermine deliberately and with great subversion the course of justice in this case. Also the fact that Mr McKinnon had to go through the trauma of extradition and trial in the US is because of the absurdly drafted legal treaties negotiated by the UK Government between the two countries. In the effort to pervert justice the British Government provided tips and aid to Mr McKinnon, rallied public support for the accused and incited the public with hysterical falsehoods that branded Mr McKinnon as a "lonesome martyr facing life in prison in the Wild West." The UK Government acted irresponsibly and frivolously in support of a criminal and fugitive.
The Court pays tribute to the hardship imposed on the British defendant by his own government and also stipulates that Mr McKinnon will have liberal visitation rights and will undergo frequent medical care and assessment. After serving six months the convict will be eligible for spending the balance of the mandatory part of the prison term in the United Kingdom. The defendant will be barred from entry into the United States for 15 years following his release as a condition of a future parole.
This brings today's proceedings to a close; Court dismissed.
NEXT WEEK: The People vs Roman Polanski
Thursday 5 November 2009
Spell Hell
Wednesday 4 November 2009
GM cars...
I'm delighted that GM decided to scrap the idea of selling Vauxhall to an obscure Canadian conglomerate, favoured by the EU to prefer car production in Germany at the expense of workers in Britain.
The GM (genetically modified) cars would have been an inferior product in the hands of Magna of Canada, and all plants in England would have been shut within a year under the plot concocted in Brussels and Toronto.
The GM (genetically modified) cars would have been an inferior product in the hands of Magna of Canada, and all plants in England would have been shut within a year under the plot concocted in Brussels and Toronto.
Tuesday 3 November 2009
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