WC2010: Burst dreams

... or can we?

England, US and RSA on brink of elimination


Two weeks into the World Cup and the three teams my veins pertrude for are in serious trouble to be eliminated. Buffoona, Buffoona - AKA South Africa - are a hopeless case and virtually out already. The US and England, with meagre 2 points after 2 games, have still a theoretical chance, with the odds slightly higher for the US to still advance. Last night's games showed a spirited Team USA coming from behind to tie 2-2 with Slovenia, showing great poise and will. The same cannot be said of the England team. A lacklustre and unimaginative performance, with the players who earn £35,000 - 40,000 a month complaining about the pressure of the tournament. The Algerian players, however, seemed to manage well despite earning only a tenth of their insular opponents. Go figure!

My money (£50) is firmly on Holland who won over Japan today. That win qualifies them already for the round of the last 16 regardless of the result of their next game.

In other news, my hero and employer (as of Sep 1) met my heroine from SA, Western Cape premier Hellen Zille.The DA (Democratic Alliance) forges ever closer ties with the Conservative Party, I am pleased to observe. Well done, Boris and Helen!

There are on average 4 days of perfect weather in Scotland per year, and I had hoped this weekend would be one of those days. No cigar, so I cancelled at the last minute our journey to Edinburgh, re-setting it tentatively for June 27-29, Emily's tight schedules permitting. So, we're staying put and do the Strand instead.
Current Music (Spotify linked):  Roxy Music – Do The Strand

Buffoons All Around

Asking the sobering question: "Why on earth have we even proposed to have the WC staged in South Africa? To spend $2.8 billion that we don't have on a 4-week kicking extravaganza, and nearly $100 million on party events for FIFA exec's, while many of South Africans live on $2 per day? We could have built 600 schools, but ANC hoodlums opted instead for 3 games of SA to play and be humiliated, like last night."

[From my FB]

Zuid-Afrika 0 - 3 Uruguay

Allez, Afrique du Sud!
Bafana, Bafana!
Gaan Suid-Afrika!
Oh dear; reality check was swift and brutal, and South Africa failed miserably. We have no business in the World Cup, and have been eliminated as a consequence. It's all over, and we can sober up to a bill of $2.8 billion now, thanks to the ANC, Nelson Mandela and Sepp Blatter, the nazi swine from Fifa.

FIFA: Don't you dare and ban the Vuvuzelas!

I vehemently oppose the ban of the vuvuzela in SA stadia! For once I don't have to turn off the sound to be spared of the idiotic drivel from Brit commentators as it is drowned by the cheerful noise of thousands of vuvuzelas. FIFA, fuck off and die!

Lucky England Escapes Defeat

England Hold Favourite USA to a 1-1
Underdog England showed decent composure to hold the US team to a one-all score, intermittently even taking the lead early on in the game. The result, however, increases the chance of England to drop out of the World Cup from 50-50 before the match to 60-40 odds now.

Winners today were South Korea (2-0 over pathetic Greece) and Argentina (1-0 over Nigeria in an impressive game that firmly establishes the South Americans now as a favourite to win the title). I can't believe how excited Enily gets during matches (we both wanted the US to win so badly). She also will have the joy of supporting France. Allez Les Bleus!

First Games at WC2010

WC2010 Opens With Anti-Climax and 2 Ties
Spectators were bored by the first two matches today as South Africa held Mexico to a 1-1 tie, while the France vs Uruguay match ended scoreless. Host South Africa surprised by gaining one point, but all four teams of the day disappointed over-all. The monotonous sound of vuvuzelas added to the boredom of spectators and many fell asleep watching the uninspired kicking of balls.

The first match of interest will take place tomorrow when the young US squad will clash with the universally disliked ghetto brethren from England. Referees have been instructed in typical English swear words in order to eject English plebs from games should they resort to their trademark cursing and swearing. Charming, eh?

First Britons Killed in South Africa

Three Britons Dead as Killings of Foreigners Begin
More than 63,000 people were killed in crimes and violent traffic incidents in 2009, and fears that foreigners will be caught up in the killing spree during the World Cup have become true today. Three Britons died in a preventable crash of an illegally remodelled truck in the eastern Mpumalanga Province near the border with Swaziland, 18 more suffered severe injuries.

The deaths followed several other incidents involving foreigners. In a hotel where 20 foreign journalists covering the world cup reside, unknown gunmen raided two rooms of sleeping newsmen from Spain and Portugal at 4AM, ransacking the rooms while holding guns to the heads of the shocked Europeans. The gunmen escaped over the fence surrounding the hotel, leaving behind shocked and traumatised victims. In Johannesburg a Portuguese fan was stabbed to death in a botched robbery attempt, while a German woman was raped at her home near Pretoria after refusing to hand over money to home invaders.

On the eve of the opening of WC2010, when Mexico is expected to thrash the home team, the death toll of foreigners has climbed to six since Monday.

Puppet On a String

Debilitated Mandela to Attend WC Opening?
Will he or won't he? This question captivates South Africans similarily to the frenzy of the 1980s when the world asked, "Who shot JR?"

The people on the dusty roads of South Africa wonder whether the incapacitated former ANC leader will be raised to the occasion of the opening ceremony of WC on Friday. While there is a toilet war going on in South Africa - mainly in the slums of the country's major townships - "WC" stands for this year's World Cup.

Enthusiasm for the tournament, or rather for the fact that the globally puerile ball-kicking takes place in SA, will quickly dissipate once Mexico will maul Buffoona, Buffoona by a score of 6-0 Friday afternoon.

Nelson Mandela is physically incapacitated and unaware of his surroundings these days. The SA government has ordered 22 metres of virtually invisible nylone ropes, to be attached to Nelson's limbs in hopes to make the ex-con appear lively and animated, dancing to the tunes played throughout the stadium. The idea to make Nelson play the vuvuzela had to be shelved: the old man's lungs are too weak to blow on hot food, let alone to muster enough breath to play the 'instrument'. But the prospect of Nelson dancing the Ali Shuffle - thanks to the transparent and invisible ropes - mesmerizes the nation already.

SA: "First Family" in Crisis

The Zuma family — South Africa’s First Family and once the advert for a harmonious bigamist marriage — is showing cracks in the spotlight.

Bless!

It follows a letter leaked to the media carrying allegations that President Jacob Zuma’s second (out of four) wife Nompumelelo Ntuli (MaNtuli) is pregnant with her bodyguard’s child and that the bodyguard has since reportedly committed suicide.

The besieged 'family' has predictably described the letter, which states to be from concerned family members, as a smear campaign against MaNtuli, aimed at undermining the president even further.

Sources close to the family say it is probable that a family member has written the letter, given some of the intimate details contained in it. There is also speculation that a close family friend who has since fallen out of favour with the president may be involved.

The sources said they are bewildered that the allegations against MaNtuli are being aired in the public domain. But they said MaNtuli’s popularity within the family has fallen following her 'bad behaviour' (jealous fit) when the president announced he was going to take another wife. What a surprise - a wife being angry after finding out her husband is to marry another woman, not bothering with divorce first!

"She is not very popular within the family right now because of her rude behaviour," said a source! DUH! The furore surrounding the letter has exposed the cracks in Zuma’s polygamous marriage, with several newspapers divulging details of MaNtuli’s 'meltdown' when she heard he was to take a third wife.

The Mail & Guardian reported that she was fined a goat in April for her "bad behaviour". The newspaper also reports that MaNtuli "went berserk" when the president called her to Pretoria late last year to inform her of his pending parallel nuptials. Ntuli allegedly broke security gates and lashed out at the police who guard Zuma. Good for her!

'Family' spokesperson Khulubuse Zuma described the current furore with a sense of paranoia as a continuation of the attack on the person of the president and his political career. He ranted on, spewing "it is particularly shameful and alarming that the president’s political enemies have now taken to masquerading as members of his family who spread malicious innuendo about him and his family."

Sources said there will be a Zuma clan meeting in Nkandla this weekend to thrash out this and other issues. Special! They added that they believed MaNtuli was unhappy [no shit!], especially after she was embarrassed over unpaid electricity and water bills at her Durban home. Yet, the embarassing Zuma took her both to the 25th Africa-France summit at the beginning of the week and on to the state visit of India.

Bullets Fly Near WC2010 Teams

Cops Shot as SA Lives Up to Reputation
Reality Hits and Teams Take Cover
Armed robbers killed one police officer and wounded another on Saturday in a shoot-out on a highway next to the base camp for several football World Cup squads.

A spokesperson for the Gauteng police said the officers came under fire south of Jo'burg after cornering two cash-in-transit vehicles which had been hijacked by the robbers. "Two police officers were shot, one was killed and one was injured when they responded to a cash-in-transit robbery," said Colonel Noxolo Kweza. Two guards were also injured in the shootout and the robbers escaped with an undisclosed amount of cash.

It was the first brush with the violent reality of South Africa for several international teams, including Mexico (where the incident has also a familiar ring) and Ivory Coast: gangs hijacking cars, kidnapping people, police exchange gunfire, coppers pinned or shot down and gangsters escape.
The shooting took place on the Maraisburg slipway off the main N1 highway which is next to the bases for both Mexico and Ivory Coast during the tournament which kicks off next weekend. High crime rate remains the chief concern in the run-up to the World Cup taking place in a country which has a murder rate of around 50 a day.

Eastern Cape Shootings Leave Several Dead

Two people were killed and a third critically injured in separate shooting incidents between police and alleged robbers in NU16, Mdantsane, in the Eastern Cape. Captain Mluleki Mbi said the shooting took place when police searched for suspects linked to armed robberies in the area over the last few weeks. "In the morning as police were patrolling, a number of robbers who were hiding in the bushes shot at them... police then returned fire killing one suspect and critically wounding the other," Mbi said. A few hours later, following a tip-off, another suspect was shot dead in the same area after he opened fire at police.

In another incident - to round out a regular day in the life of South Africans - a man was killed in a shoot-out with police at a spaza shop in Willowvale, Eastern Cape. "Three men went to the Jabula Trading Store at 2.30 am on Saturday. They shouted for the owners, who live on the property, to give them money. One of the men who own the shop called the police," said police spokesperson, Captain Jackson Manatha. Once police arrived, a shoot-out between the robbers and police ensued, and one of the hoodlums was killed.

WC2010: Place Your Bets

I put my bets on three teams to win the World Cup today - in an effort to keep my interest somewhat alive for an otherwise silly and meaningless event; aside from the travesty of wasted billions of taxpayers' money.

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£50 on Netherlands, £35 on Spain and £15 on Brazil

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Now you know.

Weekend Heat

Gorgeous morning here: sun is out, 19 degrees and breakfast on the terrace - London at its best.

Last night we had guests over, fancy drinks and inaugurating the South Africa version of Monopoly. Great entertainment until 2AM. At £30.00 the price for the SA board game could buy me 300 acres of land in Gauteng, or lunch for two in Cape Town.

It's a delight to see how competitors are losing their trademark players all over the place. First Beckham, then Rio Ferdinand, now Drogba... hope Rooney is next, dragged by a lion into the Kruger Park and mauled. In a week they will be thrashed by the US boys 3-0 (or maybe 4-0), setting the pace for an early exit for England. And if terrorists, or SA thugs dressed as policemen, kidnap the German squad, I will be totally happy. Throw them into the Indian ocean, them fookers!

Today we drive down to Canterbury and Dover, where I will be Emily-Aysu's tour guide. Back at 10 tonight for a party in Wimbledon, and we'll stay overnight with friends.

Good weekend to all, back on Monday!

Oh god, the English are coming

Isn't it ironic...

... that the most homophobic and xenophobic team participating in the World Cup, the English soccer squad, has been welcomed by dancing black South Africans today?

They are obviously oblivious to the hundreds of incidents a year involving British players, teams and their fans in acts of blatant racism and hate crimes. But then, South Africa might fit the racist bill after all: xenophobic attacks have left more than 110 foreigners dead since 2008 in this "Rainbow Nation", and gays and lesbians are institutionally targeted with "corrective rape" by homophobic thugs, condoned by the ruling ANC.

Strange world, tarnished World Cup; Buffoona, Buffoona!

Voice of Reason: Alan Dershowitz

US Attorney, legal expert and Law professor Alan Dershowitz comments on Israel's strict interpretation and enforcement of the quarantine of Hamas-controlled Gaza Strip and counters the vitriolic rhetoric against the Jewish state by the traditional critics such as Syria, Iran, European Union, PLO, al-Qaeda and similar hoodlums. Mr Dershowitz concedes that while absolutely reconcilable with international law, the repelling of a Hamas challenge on the High Seas might not have been wise.

Alan Dershowitz
Israel's Actions Were Entirely Lawful
Though Probably Unwise
Although the wisdom of Israel's actions in stopping the Gaza flotilla is open to question, the legality of its actions is not. What Israel did was entirely consistent with both international and domestic law. In order to understand why Israel acted within its rights, the complex events at sea must be deconstructed.