FLIP-FLOPS: Disgusting on your feet, appalling in politics
Government's most convincing avatar would be a pair of flip-flops
The majority of Britons are gruffly looking low-class plebs, and the social
demarcation line poses as an insurmountable marker to keep the carriers of
culture and class apart from the scum best described in the long-running hit
series Eastenders. One of the distinct ways to recognize a lowlife in public is
the slurping sound of flip-flops, bought or stolen at an Argos outlet nearby,
dragging across the floor and followed by the nasty sound of the plastic
accessory hitting the wearer's naked sole and heel. Flip-flops are the lowest
common denominator how plebs can find the comfort of solidarity with their
kinship, and take a stand in and around their council flats neighborhood. Ask
any such flopper about Shakespeare and their retort will be, "I prefer Grannysmiths."
Truly appalling, however, are flip-flops in politics. Expertly displayed in
public, the coalition government under David Cameron earned gold for its
flip-flops. Whether it be NHS, troops abroad, nuclear deterrent, train
schedules, prices & future investments, schools and universities, fees,
taxes and tariffs, stand on Brussels (the synonym for European-style corruption,
mismanagement, cronyism and waste) and government reform, the course of action
always starts with lofty goals set, ambitious initiatives proclaimed and feisty
wrangling in Parliament promised - only to be scuppered at the faintest sign of
LibDem objections or BBC ranting.
The master of flip-flop is the PM himself. Initially David emerged from a
hardcore conservative background, even though his arguments to bolster such
valor have always been half-hearted at best, or dimwitted and feather-weight
intellectually in reality. The demeanor doesn't do him any favors either: using
strong words, pressed forward with a crackling pubescent voice, baby-face
expressions and wildly gesticulating arms often pounding the pulpit at most
awkward moments, he is a man hardly to be taken seriously. If he didn't have
real men, like Francis Maud, John Redman, Ken Clarke (even though I have been
properly peed off by him too), George Osborne or William Hague around himself,
Cameron would resemble more a chicken with its head chopped off, crisscrossing
erratically across the lawn of Parliament Square as it bleeds out.
Latest flip-flop is Mr Cameron's stand on gay marriage. Staunchly against
it as recently as two years ago, Cameron with raised index finger has checked
the winds of change, and which direction they come from, he now advocates - and
will introduce legislation to that end - gay marriage as an integral part of his
new-found liberalism. Don't hold your breath just yet, though. Cameron is also
weighing the political grapes he may get from such feigned social enlightenment,
and looked at the flip-flop with some sobriety one must conclude that if, as
some argue, the Prime Minister were to drop his plans to introduce gay marriage
he would be unlikely to win many back on the strength of it. People who oppose
gay marriage would remember that he was in favor of it before the going got
tough. Those who support it would see that he abandoned the idea in the face of
a determined minority. Those who don’t much care either way would notice yet
another flip-flop.
It will be a difficult autumn for David Cameron. The flip-flops... uh...
daggers are drawn and ready to be thrown.
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