Holy Week in Europe

EURO CRISIS:

 

THE POPE TO THE RESCUE, MMXII A.D.

 A sensational breakthrough to end the euro crisis has been reported this morning by the Holy See. In a Reuters news story dated April 1st, Pope Benedict XVI has reportedly concluded negotiations with the EU Commission to deliver resources and management for the ailing eurozone, and provide the Vatican as the eurozone's new center as of July 1st, 2015....

The pope agreed to issue bonds worth $750 billion, backed up by the Vatican's wealth estimated now in excess of $TN. In a surprise move the Vatican also pledges $350bn for Portugal, Spain, Italy and Ireland - Europe's most staunchly Catholic countries and also economies that share one thing: they are bankrupt.

The pope's demands that the bi-annual Papal address "Urbi et Orbi" should be changed into "Urbi et Orbi et Terra Euri" [To the city (Rome), the world and the Euroland] and affixed to the new European flag, as well as making the Pope a figure head leader of the Eurozone, were eagerly agreed to by EU Commission President Barroso on behalf of the full commission in Brussels: "I am so excited! I am Catholic, go to church more often than to Berlin, and I really like to live in Vatican City. This pope puts all of Europe on a shining path to glory, and us in a position to surpass China and the US as global economic power."

 

How appropriate in a week when the Church commemorates the crucifixion of Christ, and the Euro faced its own brutal demise.