The nerdy Eurovision disaster
This annual ritual amounts to the scene of a most grisly car crash: you can't
help it, but you feel the urge to rubberneck, no matter how ghastly and bloody
the scene may be. The contest is as brutally gruesome to music as a 30-car
pile-up with 25 fatalities is to traffic.
What makes this pathetic abomination of a competition somewhat bearable to
watch is the live broadcast on BBC. Those priviliged to receive their signal can
enjoy the biting sarcasm and utter ridicule from star talkmaster Graham Norton.
This year's Eurovision takes place in a desolate dictatorial fiefdom on the
far-eastern fringes of Europe, a place I can't spell nor want to pronounce, it's so
redundant and useless.
The funniest part, as we have already worked out that the musical part of
the show is just sad, will be the voting procedure. It's like the European Union
- friends vote for friends, enemies being collectively blanked - we are all
Balkan. I wish each year they'd skip the la-la-la and spasm-like body motions on
the stage and would straight go to the voting part.
Who'll win? Does it matter? On top of our tally of expectations are 2
entries who were teenagers when Hitler and Stalin still slugged it out for world
domination. Yep, THAT old...
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