Event

Where to find me

WHEN?    February 3rd, 06:30pm - 08:00pm
WHERE?  Clement House, Hong Kong Theatre
EVENT?  
"Growing the aid budget at a time of deficit reduction: moral imperative and political challenge"
WITH?    Harriet Harman, MP and Shadow Secretary of State for International Development

Can't wait to counter the contentions of the daft bint

Face it, Facebook

Seen on

xxx (name withheld) is so happy that "Facebook has decided to allow my personal data be shared with 503,562,602 other facebook users without bothering me with nerdy questions first, foremost my postal address and phone numbers, office details, etc."

"We want all people exchange data, bring together paedophiles and children, murderers and victims," FB owner Zuckerman is rumoured to have boasted.

Adopt-A-Stalker

Daft-a, Barf-ta, Bafta

Outside the insular confines of Britain, "bafta" means nothing to the world as it is. Americans might think it is a misspelling of barf or daft, and instinctively are not far off the mark. For BAFTA, the wannabe Oscars of the British film industry, annually awarded by British pundits of miniscule IQ and infantile mind, is the penultimate laurels a flick could be bestowed with in jolly good England.

It is no surprise that the overwhelming part of this year's nominations goes to The King's Speech, which captured nods in 14 categories. It left me ... well, no pun intended ... speechless. I mean, it's a lovely, oh so lovely and harmless, G-eese rated movie "to be viewed and enjoyed by the whole family," canines and carnivores included. Let the cat out of the bag, with your final choices!

Films that are much more likely to prevent me from falling asleep before the credits have run their course are: True Grit, Inception, The Kids Are Alright, Black Swan, 127 hours, The Town and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - in that order.

Wham! Wake me up before I gag-gag...

Upcoming concerts

Three events coming up where you'll find me:

1) SHEA SEGER
   at Borderline; January 25th, at 7:00pm

2) ANI DIFRANCO
   at the Shepherd's Bush Empire; January 27th, at 7:30pm

3) VANESSA PARADIS
   at Koko, Camden; February 2nd, at 7:00pm

Keep your envy down. 

BoJo

Boris Johnson to launch campaign for new London airport

I agree with the 2nd-most powerful politician in the country:
Boris Johnson will step up pressure on the government to change its aviation policy with a report warning that London will lose jobs to European competitors unless David Cameron backs a new hub airport in the south-east. The London mayor has lined up senior business leaders, including Richard Reid, London chairman of KPMG, and Stuart Popham, former senior partner at Clifford Chance, to back his call for ministers to act more urgently in addressing the need for greater air capacity.

In exchange - and that is my personal take on it - we could easily close a few other airports that serve hardly any useful purpose and sell them to private industries or the military: Plymouth, Bristol, Cheltenham, Coventry, Derby and Norwich fulfil no purpose and could effortlessly and unnoticeably be scrapped in exchange for another London area airport.

Economic research on the merits of such revamp of the map of English airstrips have begun last October at this office and is expected to be concluded before the summer recess of Parliament. Stay tuned!

BoJo

Pre-weekend duties...

I support and co-sign the letter written by Boris and David, condemning planned union strikes when highest publicity is assured: during the royal wedding and the 2012 Olympic Games. The letter openly asks union members to revolt against their Stalinist leaders and chase them out of office (preferably throw them into the path of a Circle Line train; but that is MY spin of it).

Just one more thing:

Can Marina please make the wardrobe choices for Boris, and let her tie the knot?

Ta!

Weekend

T.G.I.F, eh?

11am at the St Pancras champagne bar for a flute of Chandon-Moët. Departure at 11:32, arrival at 02:45pm (Paris Mean Time). Arrival at Rue Pierre et Marie Curie - depending on how Emily negotiates traffic - at around 03:30pm (Paris Good Time) to commence the "same procedure as last year," starting with a bottle of Bollinger.

Back on Monday at 11am (British Dull Time).

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Shooting of a popular Congresswoman

It was only a matter of time when the appallingly despicable public polemic, like the one spewed by a hate-mongering Sarah Palin, who has sunk as low as putting up a map with targeted Democrats in Congress with gun sights, would trigger some nutter to actually take shots at one of Palin's potential victims.

Today it happened: re-elected Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifords was shot, together with 16 others, among them a judge and a staff member of the Representative who was one of six people killed. Also among the dead is a 9-year old child. Sarah Palin can be blamed for instigating the climate under which this shooting happened. What a tea party she will have tonight!

The SARAH'S PACK map on Sarah Palin's website ("17 more to go," with shooting victim Giffords presumably off her hit list today):

2011 - resolute w/o resolutions

First weekend back at home after a most brilliant trip to South Africa. Happy to say, the memories are still as vivid as the tan is still intact.


Returning first to Paris, the late 'fall-out' from Christmas had to be tackled: numerous postal notifications that parcels could not have been delivered while we were gone. For practical reasons - we did not want to fill up our suitcases with prezzies handed to us in South Africa and rather stuff them with local memorabilia and momentos - we gave each other stuff we had on our wish list on Amazon.co.uk.; and it worked brilliantly. Emily had to hire a taxi to the post office to pick up her gifts, a procedure repeated by myself on Wednesday.

At work everythign worked smoothly, no substantial backlog of work had accumulated over the past 3 weeks. On Friday my office welcomed four MEPs, an opportunity to vent my disdain for the euro, and to gloat over the 5% fall of the euro's value since the start of the year. More than ever, my contention written in my doctoral thesis some 15 years ago, that the eurozone - back then still in the process of preparation - would not survive two business cycles, holds as true today as back then. After the first boom & bust cycle, the eurozone looks like a conglomerate of limping and forlorn states brushing with various degree of financial ruin. In my eyes the EU commission's duty would be to declare Chapter-11 and to dissolve the doomed "union." It was good to take the European guests to an American restaurant, serving American wine, and rubbing in salt into the gaping wounds of our patients from the continent. It's good to see that, already in the absence of any legitimation from voters, the EU witnesses how the rug of secured financing is also being pulled from underneath their feet. Yes, I wholeheartedly applaud the doom heading towards the Soviet-EUnion, and its rapid demise.

When Boris asked me later, "you didn't mention anything adverse to our European friends, did you?" I just shrugged. After which BJ mumbled, "oh dear, this will cost London another 30 free tickets for the Olympic Games for some European bureaucrats to make up." I'm afraid he's right...

E1 and E2 (Emily proposed the idea to be called QE2) planned a weekend in London. But as it is her first weekend at home too, and she owes visits with friends and family to belatedly exchange good wishes for the New Year, we decided to make it next weekend, in Paris. It's nice to know that everyone around us is healthy and cheerful, optimistic for 2011, and all visitors to our South African homestead have made it back safely. At a time when Arab hoodlums and ghetto fucks lurk behind every bend on the road and in many airports, safe trips cannot be taken for granted anymore. I wish we'd nuke these bastards already.

I will keep myself occupied with resuming my duties as Anglochat's resident psychiatrist on AOL, unpacking the many parcels waiting under the Christmas tree (ok, it's a palm tree, actually), fake surprise as I unwrap them, and call people to thank. I also plan some ice-skating tomorrow at Somerset House. And I am pondering whether to post a picture showing tan and tan lines, and white spots... but I might lose this blogsite's G rating in the process. Maybe I will cut or black out the bits that could cause a ruckus.

Happy New Year to some, and things you deserve to others... personally I hope that the year will be as good as 2010, I'd settle for that. And let's forget about the last decade: it was the worst since the 1940s, I think. Arabs have ruined the fun for the rest of the world for a whole decade. It's time to retaliate. 

Current Music (Spotify enhanced): CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG - Heaven Can Wait  

Warm Days of 'Winter'

Just gorgeous days here in Western Cape.

Yesterday's high and low for Franschhoek: 87 at around 3PM, 64 at breakfast time on the terrace... Afternoon trip down to the shore near Kleinmond (Clarence Drive) where we stayed overnight. Shortly we'll take the 40-mile scenic route to the Theewaterskloofdam, just 10 miles from our Franschhoek homestead. Tomorrow, New Year's Eve, we'll be back home for some proper celebrations. Hottentots among Huguenots... lol

Lots of [private] pics from the trips at my Facebook 

Elton Meltdown

Beyond the good time we are having here in Franschhoek, I feel the need to comment on Elton John's weird offspring:

"Elton [what a name that is!], you will be 80 years old when your 'son' will turn 17. Congratulations to you, you selfish bastard; and pity for the newly-born."

Happy Happy Joy Joy, in South Africa

All actors in place, let the fun commence: Franschhoek is in the grip of EURO & his company. Mum's beaming, for once the centre of all attention. The stage is set for the feasting, first to celebrate a European inspired traditional Christmas with luscious food and drinks on festive tables, followed a week later by ringing in the New Year.

Let's not reminisce over the travel woes getting here from London and Paris; rather let's enjoy what we have here: a refreshing chill of 60F at night, and balmy 82F during the day. I'm in paradise...

Vac Time

Leaving for St Pancras first, then Gare du Nord; a bit crazy, but hey! I do it because I can. E-1 will depart for SA on Sunday, while I return to London that evening; only to leave for CT myself on the next day.

The temp's make SA the right place to be: sunny and 78 in Stellenbosch vs cloudy and 29 in London today.

Back on the 4th, unless one of my stunts goes wrong... lol 

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Snow in Paris

Snow in Paris means? To stay put in London and do the Christmas shopping at England's best mall. Hopping on the Eurostar yesterday on a moment's notice was Her right idea.

Where were you, when...

... John Lennon died?

I lived in San Francisco at the time, and was in bed when the TV interrupted its programme with the breaking news. And I muttered, "only in America."

Fresh off the ticker...

• Noble boycott: At least the communists in China have the decency not to soil the Nobel Peace Prize award ceremony with the presence of any of its miserable representatives. It would have been a travesty if some of the regime's underlings attended a ceremony to honour the country's most eminent critic.
• I knew it all along as soon as the story broke last month: the husband concocted the infamous plan to have his newly-wed wife Anni Delawi shot execution-style in a Western Cape township near Cape Town. I hope he will be thrown into the Indian Ocean and be eaten by sharks.
• I applaud the arrest of WikiLeaks' Assange today; next stops should be a Swedish court room, prison and finally extradition to the US. Once there he should simply disappear at a place in the sun: Guantanamo.

London Weekend, Guernsey Revelations

After Eurostar, like most of the mass transport of England last week, stopped their often unreliable service in the wake of 1.3 inches of snow and temperatures near the freezing point - quelle surprise in December! - I found myself stuck in London. As a result I raked up a handsome phone bill over the weekend. But, this being London, I found enough activities to beat any emerging boredom right in its tracks.

Talking of tracks: while the ones leading to Paris defied me this time, I carved my own into the ice rink at Somerset House, twice. Together with three reg's, we enjoyed the musical and architectural beauty of the setting at the palace, did our 1-hour routines on Saturday and Sunday, enjoyed the mulled wine and the occasional fall onto the ice (especially when I tried to let Emily listen to my skates carving into the ice up close, bending over and holding the phone close to the skates).

Saturday night we spent at the usual hang-out, Trader Vic's at the Hilton. Great food, good music and fantastic drinks. By 2:30 in the morning we had split as I had to take up my position as weekend psychiatrist of AOL's Anglochat room - a free service of the NHS. It's my way of being Christmassy and compassionate according to the spirit of the season. I extended treatment to such reg's as the schizo-paranoid AOL members coma284, brandi620, Lameducks, Sugapiehineypunch, AlteredStates (a pun of mental debilities), and the crystal meth victims Carrcrater, vickylake, crampierat and doveinamist. The sessions went by uneventful, no further actions like forced injections or straight jackets were needed this time.

I also am in the midst of reading two books; one is Paul Erdman's "Crash of '79", the other a historical account of Guernsey, a renegade island off the coast of France that was deeply embroiled with the Nazi henchmen in the 1940s. Turns out that the people of Guernsey not only fraternised intimately with the nazis, even to the point that inhabitants of neighbouring Jersey were appalled, but they also made sure that all of the island's Jews were murdered. Two concentration camps on the islets around Guernsey were sustained by the crucial help of Guernsey folks. Their attempts to white-wash their past sins for more than 5 decades have been completely thrashed by the book. Two schools on the island have been provided by the islanders to the nazis as interrogation centres, from which suspects regularily have emerged dead. Later, after the war atrocities were stopped by British invasion forces, Guernsey has used the institutions to incarcerate, torture and sexually abuse children methodically until as recently as 1997.

On a lighter note: I accumulated 18 hours of OT last week, which I will utilise this week to have Monday-Wednesday as half-days. Afternoons will be spent shopping and visits at the (Germanic) Christmas market on South Bank, with original kraut goodies like mulled tea, bratwursts, potato dishes and gingerbread from Nuremberg. My eyes will be sparkling from the glare of Christmas tinsel and lights, and my hands will embrace the hot cups in nippy temp's. Undoubtedly I shall OD on roasted chestnuts.
You may hate me now... LOL

Current Music: GEOFFREY ORYEMA - Ye, Ye, Ye
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0u5yYEEluA

AOL Splinters

Within 10 minutes of the announcement that Britain's heir to the throne would get married 'some time next year,' a huffing and panting oversized regular of Anglochat blitzed the unsuspecting members with the news that "I'm gonna be at the Royal wedding!"

After the "ooh's and aahh's" of the ambushed crowd had subsided, and the potential party-crashing nutter had caught her breath, someone dared to point out that no wedding date had been announced yet. Feeling caught out again, the Colossus of Rogues - visibly shaken and embarrassed - quickly hissed, "Am goin' regardless, me and me 'Manda, after our cruise out of Miami," and pressed the Anglochat's panic button to drop out with great haste through the trap door which member LaChateauEURO@aol.com had previously installed for such precious moments in AOL's trademark arena for the insane.

Leaves the question of who is "'manda?" Our New York correspondent unearthed some facts about 10-year old Amanda, often referred to as "Tasmanian Devil" in Anglochat. For a long time it was suspected to be the spawn of Satan, or that it may have been aborted from a bulging piñata on Cinco de Mayo in the year 1999. Newly recovered documents, however, shed new light on the origins of 'Amanda' now.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's been a brilliant year so far (minus the broken arm), and a lot of reasons to be grateful for.

We're off to a lavish traditional dinner tonight, and unquestionably will we need a weekend to recover from it.

Traitors - in London and Dublin alike

The Conservative-led government betrays once again a 'red line':
Sending more than $12 billion to Dublin, and to bolster the eurozone without being a member, is a travesty. For decades Ireland bragged as an economic role model, financed with more than $46 billion from Brussels over a period of 15 years, which the EU agreed to transfer to Dublin to coerce the half of the island into the eurozone.

The word of Irish politicians is worth nothing. On Saturday the government affirmed that it will not seek help from the eurozone. On Sunday they crawled on their knees and begged for $128 billion. To assist Ireland would not be so disgusting if it coincided with the transfers of powers from Dublin to London. It is obvious that the Irish cannot - and must not be allowed - to govern themselves. It is repulsive to think that Britain needs to borrow funds at 4.5% and will lend to Ireland at a rate of 2.75% p.a.

It would only be balancing the immorality of the past to give development aid to Ireland now on the condition that it leaves the eurozone.

This article constitutes the termination of my support for Prime Minister Cameron.

Horseing Around

The clock has started to tick for yet another equine member of the Royals. Ever since Charly, the Prince of Whales, has confided to an American tabloid that his two-legged consort would be called Queen - once his mother and real queen has been carried out of Buckingham Palace - some sinister albeit familiar conspirators have swung into action to prevent the unthinkable.

Camilla Park-er-Bowels and HRH Princess Anne at a recent photo-op

It will be again up to Prince Philip and his phoney pharaoh chum Muhamad Al-Fayed, the Egyptian carpet trader, to concoct a plan to preserve the purity of the inbreds. Philip called his son yesterday to 'congratulate' him for his "dutiful aspirations" but also added that, if they were in the same room now, he would lash Charly's bare bottom with a birchtree branch until "the camel's back breaks". The conversation was leaked to us by someone within MI5.

Charly remained unfazed by his father's strong-armed threat and retorted, "I have been a tampon inside Camilla already, blood don't [sic] impress me much dad."

In the meantime, the plot thickens. Al-Fayed offered the service of a French driver ("Henri has rosy cheeks, is jolly and always ready for a tipple, or two, or 3, or 14") and also a 'very safe, armor-plated Mercedes 600'. Philip asked to put the couple up at some stables around Paris, and Fayed obliged by reserving a suite at the Hotel Ritz for the pair.

This morning a huge white "X" mysteriously appeared on the second concrete pillar of the underpass at the Pont de l'Alma along the banks of River Seine.

It seems all the prep work has been done.





Some readers may find this article disturbing and offensive. However, great effort has been put into this posting to make it suitable for readers of all ages and IQs. None of the animals involved have suffered in the wake of writing this article, and no products of beastly origins shall be entered into the food chain or offered for sale.

United Queendom

Britain is the drabbest country of Europe, with the exception of London (many argue that London should declare itself independent and proclaim a status of city state like Singapore). Economic crisis, derelict townships and chav-savaged inner cities, no sun and wind-swept; the United Queendom presents itself today as a recession hit theme park, deserted by visitors and with brittling facades rendering it into an unmasked Potemkin village.

With gloom and doom abound, news breaks that the #2 in line to ascend to the throne of the Germanic make-belief fiefdom (after all, it exchanged its name of noble lineage from Saxe-Coburg & Gotha into Windsor(e) some years back, to lure more American tourists through its gates after WW-I) is about to get married to a commoner. While it's good to see that two bright and well educated people tie the knot, and even present themselves uncharacteristically attractively for Brits, the nuptiles do nothing to improve the image of the country, let alone to pull the nation out of the doldrums of general decline.

The world laughs once again at Britain, but Brits mis-interpret the global appearance of bemusement and condescending grimaces as shared expressions of merriment. I approve of, and wish the best of luck to the future couple, which so far seems to have done everything right to break with the tradition of crumbled marriages and dysfunctional relationships which are hallmarks of the world's ugliest monarchy to the naked eye.

London added a new feature to bolster its reputation as the world's top city, rich of cultural diversity and a haven of tolerance: a previously unthinkable French-only radio station hit the airwaves today (link: http://www.frenchradiolondon.com/french/listen-live/?v=1 )

It's a fitting response to the insecure Gallics, who impose circumspectively severe on-the-air restrictions on their media outlets to prevent the use of such potentially corrupting foreign words like 'computer' instead of the complex and elaborate 5-word French term for it (which we decided to ban here). Any French radio station is prohibited to air a greater than 10% share of its playtime with non-French language music.

French Radio London is an enrichment for the country; a warm welcome to London!

L'art de vivre

Emily invited me and 2 of her girlfriends to a restaurant last night. It was the - gasp - La Tour D'Argent! The setting, cuisine and service were exceptional; no wonder we stayed from 8:30pm until past midnight.

When the moment came to fetch my AMEX card, Emily leaned gently over to me, blinked with her lashes innocently and assured me, "it's all taken care of, mon chéri." No bill presented, no moneys exchanged; she had it all previously arranged. And the fact that at the next table dined Catherine Deneuve and her entourage, and Emily struck up a brief conversation with her, only added to the classy evening out.

After dropping in at the Bus Palladium for a while, enjoying some leg exercises on the dancefloor, which I enjoyed especially after the de-casting of my left arm on the previous day, we finally arrived back home just after 3. Tonight we're invited to her mother's place in Neuilly.

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Salut!

Je suis arrivé à Paris

... and my luggage as well

DEMAIN:
La capitale accueille le Festival International de la Photographie Culinaire et ses instantanés gourmands.

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Long-term plan: 2012

I habitually hate to make long-term plans, enjoying spontaneity and last-minute surprises too much. But this is a sizzling ticket worthwhile to drop anything and attend:

Lang Lang's first complete Beethoven Piano Concerto cycle in London
Heralded as the 'hottest artist on the classical music planet’ by the New York Times, 27-year-old Lang Lang has played sold out recitals and concerts in every major city in the world. In 2008 over 5 billion people viewed his performance in Beijing's opening ceremony for the Games of the XXIX Olympiad (3.8 billion tuned out from the Games afterwards) and the following year he was named as one of Time Magazine's 100 most influential people.

Following his sold-out in-the-round performance at the Royal Albert Hall in 2010, Lang Lang returns to the Hall in March 2012 to perform his complete Beethoven Piano Concerto cycle for the first time ever in London. He will be joined by the acclaimed conductor Esa-Pekka Salonen and the Philharmonia Orchestra.
Programme:

Tuesday 20 March 2012, 7.45pm

Beethoven - Overture, Namensfeier, Op. 115
Beethoven - Piano Concerto No. 1
Beethoven - Piano Concerto No. 4

Wednesday 21 March 2012, 7.45pm - - that's the one I will attend!

Beethoven - Overture, Leonore No. 2, Op. 72a
Beethoven - Piano Concerto No. 2
Beethoven - Piano Concerto No. 3

Friday 23 March 2012, 7.45pm

Beethoven - Overture, King Stephen
Beethoven - Symphony No. 4
Beethoven - Piano Concerto No. 5, Emperor

Sadly, I will miss a brilliant evening at RAH on the 25th, trading a fab concert for a Thanksgiving Party instead. And as my fork and knife dig into some roasted bird and its stuffing, my mind will wander to a concert that I shall miss:
Bruch's phenomenally successful Violin Concerto No.1 - performed by Nicola Benedetti - and it is framed by two English masterworks: Elgar's (yes indeed!)  Cockaigne Overture and Holst's celebrated Planets Suite.